Philia Stauber


Philia Stauber - OM (2011) - pg 486

Philia Christine Stauber-Gabriel; left: 15/08/1987, right: 5/09/2010.
Source: OM, pg. 486, 2011.

Biodata

Name: Philia Christine Stauber-Gabriel
Born – May 24, 1957
Spouse: Wolfgang Adolf Stauber
Resident – Basel BS and Zetzwil AG
Occupation – Textile designer
Joined FIGU – November 1, 1986
Left FIGU – June 2016
Membership duration – 30 years in Core Group

Source: OM, pg. 486, 2011

Spoken words from the life experience casket

Summary:

A poem about how we are not androids but humans, so we do not simply act according to a program, but we search for truth and ask ourselves: why? We all have to figure it out for ourselves and it is important to be honest and modest and when we make a mistake it will become clear soon enough. The truth is the way it is, only humans are full of deceit. Those who do everything to win, not hesitating to lie or deceive will soon be avoided by people. Trust, an important thing, breaks down by reserve and discord. Be careful for those who spread this evil. We are responsible for our own actions and have to bear the consequences.

While on paper this poem is quite in line with the ‘FIGU philosophy’, it clearly refers to the culture of mistrust and the lack of freedom (of opinion) within FIGU.

Source: Gesprochene Worte aus dem Lebenserfahrungskästchen

Resignation

Dear Core Group members,

I hereby cancel my core group membership by the end of June 2016. For health reasons it is no longer feasible for me to keep up with it all.

In the almost 30 years of my membership I have had a lot of positive, but also a lot of negative experiences, which helped me to receive great knowledge in my life that I would never miss. It hurts me to leave the community after so many years and to now follow a path without you all, but the honesty to myself demands it. Unfortunately, I have by far exceeded my limits and now it is really time to take responsibility for myself and do what is necessary.

My plan was actually quite different. The FIGU represented exactly what I had been looking for so long and wanted to dedicate my life to, and did. It was very clear to me that my life should take place within the FIGU. A necessary new approach had to be decided upon, as for how I have behaved before my health deteriorated, which was obviously not right.

For quite some time now in the FIGU I am neither fish nor bird. With everything I am lagging behind including my personal life. It is not clear whether I can ever fulfill all my duties again, because like before it is no longer possible. That affects me very much, since I especially felt a lot of pressure when I was spoken to in an unheard way of psychological nonsense, which I already experienced quite often in the past. The mistrust towards me and my behavior was described at various occasions as ‘unfit to function in a group’. In the spirit: At least pull yourself together and do what you have to do. Since all that was leading to where I am now, my dilemma is perhaps understandable. I still kept pulling myself together and tried my best, but apparently it was frowned upon like: Well, what is she up to now and what does she think she is doing?

Such actions, no matter to whom they are directed towards, I consider destructive. It has never been my way to break anything that is not as it should be with a sledgehammer, and I even lack the right vocal chords to yell into the world and shake the environment. Direct, respectful, open and honest communication I consider by all means the way to help bring about changes and tackle problems. Not that one would have to whisper it… Although, everything that is whispered behind ones back which leads to an action, is met with dubious intent and will ultimately lead to a breach of trust. Many times I felt ashamed for the behavior of FIGU inside and out, although I always tried to find the right justification for it. But there are things that are just not a part of one’s self, they are registered as such, but they are so strange and against ones belief that you just want to run away from it. My goal was not to run away and rather be tough and cope with it, but I’m just made out of different stuff. After all this time and all the efforts in recent years, I have to admit to myself at last that my stamina is exhausted, and that the core group membership clearly exceeds my strength. My work and everyday life is so demanding that my energy is exhausted. The little that is left can now help me to get back on my feet again.

It is and remains the truth to which I have always been attracted to like a magnet. Just as I am able to realize this, I have to live it. The feeling that you are exposed to distrust of elusive, subliminal threats and to realize, that this can and will reoccur at any given time, and to know that the current situation cannot easily be changed, is a condition that is no longer acceptable for me. The glass is not just filled to the brim but is also cracking. Everything has its rightful time and currently that means for me to bid farewell and let go, even though it is very painful. One who is not standing behind his/her values, isn’t standing behind the truth either. Rest and detachment is what I now need so that I can gain the ground under my feet again. At least I have endured for nearly 30 years, in which I tried to give everything that was possible because the mission was always the number one priority.

I really wish all of you the best in your endeavor, a lot of strength, endurance and stamina to continue through it as before, and thank you for all the friendship and the love and all the sweets that I have gotten which always inspired me.

Philia, 06/11/2015

Source: Kündigung Philia

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Last modified on June 1, 2016 at 9:05 pm