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Honestly, the biggest change for me since theyflyblog changed their rules policy was it made me kind of a bitter hermit. I’m terribly hungover right now, so I don’t really feel like typing up a book atm; so here’s the cheddarmon notes.
I was a pretty happy kid until I saw my first sighting at 5, since then: It made me feel like the real world around us is a fucking joke. The government is willfully distracting the public from the bigger reality and maybe it’s for the best.
Realizing that there are actively space-faring explorers, means that YOU, and ME, could have been those explorers, but we aren’t allowed. We will live and die on this rock. Our fancy grave.
making friends growing up is hard enough when youre “normal”. Let alone when youre the weird mexican kid that doesnt talk or play with anyone. Just sits there, sad as fuck, stuck in his head thinking of what could and should have been but will never be.
The realization that everyone has goals and dreams and the very real possibility of accomplshing them in ther lifetime. But that MY one goal and dream, to see the universe, is going to die with me. no chance of ever leaving the cosmic porch.
To be so young and so bitter that you hate sci-fi bullsht because itsa mockery of the real thing and the bullsht industries. a distraction from the work we could be doing. an insulting reminder of what I’m not allowed to fathom despite the technology being REAL.
most of all, it made it impossible to relate. I don’t care about money, fun, women, family, health, i want alien tech, i want to study elements synthesized from foreign stars different from our own. I want to communicate across intelligences and expand the reach of consciousness in the vast emptiness, regardless of language or evolutionary descendancy. I wan’t to see dyson spheres and entire solar systems as a single hive-mind comunity. I want to be part of something REAL.
Not this secondhand theatrical play that is society.
just had to throw this in, i realize i may be chemically depressed, and i AM making efforts to enjoy this world and it’s people. we are all born somewhere, and it’s just luck of the draw that we were born on Earth, at this particular time. We are all dealt a handjob, and it’s up to us how we play with it, i suppose.